I'm not really sure how to start this post as I am still in a wee bit of shock that this actually happened. I am quite certain a plague of biblical proportions has descended upon our house. This realization, the realization about biblical plague and our house, is really quite disturbing for a few reasons. One: it proves to me that all that time in Sunday School and Catechism were totally useless because two: I had no idea that there were 10 plagues. I thought that there were seven. Seven I can handle because we have been through five. Seven meant we were almost done. But 10??? 10 has me..well, scared poop less (especially since I found a spider on my curtain this morning)!
It started out as one. Then two. Then about half a dozen. And finally, it ended with a swarm that chased me and the three kids, as well as my friend J and her two babes, out of the house... for two hours... in 80 degree heat! Bees.The spiky tailed devil. Killers of Thomas J. in "My Girl". Things that give my friend J goose bumps the size of Michigan.
The day started out like any Wednesday would, which means "well enough". My human alarm clock, aka The Babe, aka the "The girl who hates for her mother to sleep past the butt crack of dawn", decided to sleep a little late prompting us to arrive right at 8am (so..late!) to the Big Kid's school. Wednesday is the short day of the week for school and usually we have Thai lessons that day. However, because the Big Kid and his friend, Little J, have been begging for a play date, I canceled Thai lessons and set up a play date with Little J and his mommy J. So, after we pick up the boys at school, load them into their various spots in the SUV and golf cart, we head over to our house for the play date.
The play date went very well for the first half . The kids played well together, Middle boy only had a few melt downs, Babe only pitched a few fits. It was great! Then all hell broke loose. As I said earlier, it started out as one. Little J pointed out to his mom that there was a fly on my curtain. She of course turns around, sees the "fly" and says "That's okay honey. Thailand has flies. No big deal". So, I turn around a few seconds later and there were two of them. Okay. Just a fly. No big deal. Umm, no. Very big deal because when I went to kill them they were bees. Again, no big deal right? Maybe they got in when we walked in. Totally logical assumption.
Eventually we relocated to the living room because the babe and the middle boys were playing in there and there was no telling what they would get into. Eventually I had to walk back into "The Bee room" and noticed that it felt way hotter then it should, especially since I had just turned on the air con. And that is when I saw them.. Oh them. Them, them, and more them. So, calmly I walked into the room where J was and asked her if she could come and take a look "at something". She walks in and says "OMG!". And yep, that pretty much sums it up. OMG!! As I was debating on what to do, outside of the bee room, I decided to walk back in and see what was up. And boy did I see! They had multiplied and were swarming around my lights. This time, slightly more freaked out, I walked into the kitchen which adjoined the bee room and saw that they were in there too. They were also in my other dining room. And they had multiplied yet again in the Bee room. As calmly as two mothers can, J and I gathered the kids and took off out the house.
To say that my good day turned bad is quite possibly the biggest understatement of the week. I will spare you many of the other details of that day (my exact wording when I abandoned my Thai sensibilities of kindness and friendliness and opened up a good old fashioned can of American verbal whoop-ass on my landlord, for example). After several heated, non progress making conversations with the non-English speaking handy man about them trying to use poison to kill the bees (Not going to happen around my kids!), J's driver ever so nicely took over for me with communicating. Apparently yelling loudly at a Thai in a language that they don't understand doesn't really get you anywhere. They just smile at you bigger then normal... which of course pisses off this girl like you wouldn't believe!
I do have to say though that when I called my hubby about the poison the conversation that followed was quite funny looking back on it. Apparently in my panicked state I suggested that instead of poison that they wrangle to bees like they would do cattle. This apparently confused my hubby a great deal because in a very surprised tone he says "you want them to wrangle the bees? How exactly do you propose they do that?" Well.. with a net and a rope of course! After finding out how they killed them, wrangling doesn't seem all that far out there though. Their solution??? Rolled up TV fliers for the local cable company! High tech stuff man! Speaking of solutions, when I asked them where they came from they informed me that there was a hole in the roof. When I proposed the very logical (well, I thought it was logical) solution of just closing the hole, they informed that no, they could not do that. What? Why not? Because then the bees would have no where to live? Correct me if I am wrong here, but we, the HUMAN occupants of this house, are the ones paying rent, right? Not the bees.
So, that was my day in a nut shell. Fun times! Hopefully plagues 6-10 decide not to visit us... EVER, because I am quite certain that my crazy card is totally full. Here's to hoping for a better week with no more creepy surprises! Until next time, I hope all is well!
Kristen
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