Okay people, I have a bit of a PSA to deliver here and I think it is a very important read because as soon as I get back to the states I fully intend on calling my local lawmakers to ensure that my "Pepper Initiative" gets enacted. No person should ever unwittingly experience what I did just last night with this evil fruit. And yes, the chili pepper is a fruit. I googled it before I posted that!
So, why my firm stance on outlawing the pepper? Well, last night my hubby got home early which was super exciting because he doesn't usually show his foxy self until around 6pm. As per our norm, after he sent me a text saying the he was on his way home, the "whats for dinner" conversation ensued. Since neither of us really wanted to go into town because of the horrendous Friday afternoon traffic, we decided to get take-out from the Thai restaurant across the street from our compound. A few weeks back we discovered that this particular restaurant makes a mean steamed veggies in oyster sauce so that is what I ordered. Unbeknowlingly to me, the first time my hubby ordered this particular dish he ordered it as "not spicy". The "not spicy" part is a big thing around here, especially if you wish to avoid what I have affectionately termed as "dragon ass" (use your imagination on that one!), so we ALWAYS order "not spicy" if the dish has two versions. When I saw this particular dish on the menu there were not two versions, so imagine my surprise when the second time we ordered this dish that it was in fact spicy and contained two red chili peppers.
Now, the red chili pepper is not the pepper that I have a problem with. It's the damn orange chili pepper that got me last night and is the one I want outlawed. You see, this chili pepper was masquerading as a carrot, which is in the dish, hence my confusion. So, as we are sitting at the dinner table and having a rather pleasant conversation about our future and our current maid problem, I see what I thought was a plump juicy carrot. I hadn't really eaten all day so I dug in with a vengeance and soon, oh so soon, realized my colossal mistake. Orange chili pepper; oh how I loathe you!!
A smart person would have realized that there were two versions of this dish, right?? I mean, after getting a spicy version the second go around I should have known that it was a possibility that the next time it would be spicy as well, especially if I did not specify. Well folks, a smart person I am not because I swear that it looked just like the slices of carrots in the dish. I think the worst part of assuming that this chili pepper was a carrot was that I took such a big bite of the darn thing. And to top it off, the end that I did not see was actually cut open so that when i bit down the juice flew all over not only my tongue, but my lips, chin, and apparently my hand which decided to swell slightly and turn bright red. After a few four letter words murmured silently behind by burning lips I start chugging water like there was no tomorrow. Since that wasn't helping AT ALL, my hubby suggested that I try milk. Even though it didn't totally take away all my pain, it did relieve it slightly.
Once all the pain had finally left me, and once I was finally able to form sentences again, my hubby, with a rather confused look on his face, asked me why I decided to eat a pepper that even Thai people don't eat. Umm, well, I thought it was a carrot! So yes people, I ate the pepper that even Thai people don't eat. Fantastic!! Oh, and to top it off, even though I didn't think that I swallowed that much of the pepper juice apparently I did. I realized this when after dinner was done I got a rather bad case of the hiccups and the juice came back up with each one. So yes. It was a rather unpleasant dinner experience.
When we arrive back home in around four months or so, I hope you will all join me with outlawing this evil fruit who has the audacity to masquerade as the carrot. I plan on starting a petition soon ;-0
Until next time!
Kristen
Friday, March 29, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
Snakes on a tree!
Oh, boy. Just when I thought that maybe our luck had finally changed in the critter department I was sadly proven very wrong. I guess I should have realized that we weren't quite done with plagues as I do believe that there were 10 in the bible (I could be wrong, so don't quote me on that. In fact I am certain that I am wrong but too lazy to look it up.).
So the story. A few weeks ago I was standing in the kitchen with the maid when all of a sudden she gets very quite. Now, if you know anything about my maid (which you probably don't since I haven't told her story yet) you know that being quiet isn't her speciality. Doing showers isn't her speciality either, but I digress. So, as we are standing there, all quite and stuff, without looking away from the window she says in a rather hushed voice "madam, there snake". Umm, excuse me?? And in a hushed voice??? Where's the concern, people??? "Snake?", I say as calm as possible (all the while shrieking like a child on the inside). "Yes, there on tree", she says and points. And holy big snake, Batman!!! This things was huge. I don't mean like huge in my imagination, huge (as my hubby so often says I blow these critters up in my mind). I mean seriously huge as in at least 5.5 FEET long! Since I myself am not even 5.5 feet tall you can see why this was concerning to me. That thing could swallow me whole and not even be completely full.
And then it moved... down the tree, and was looking at us. The snake was looking at us and blowing in the wind like it was totally in its natural habitat and not in my protective bubble that I have deemed to be at least 20 feet around the perimeter of my house. As we are watching this snake slither down the tree I look over at Khun T and ask if it were the kind where you die if it were to bite. She didn't know. So, I asked if we should call the guard. She didn't know this either. Thankfully my friend G had text me the number to the guard house when we first moved in and I knew just where I had saved that text. Unfortunately, I also learned when rereading that text that I needed the basic knowledge of how to say Thai numbers so that I could tell the non-English speaking guards where to find me. At that very moment, quiting Thai lessons did NOT seem like as good of an idea as it did two months ago.
After calming myself after I realized that I had no idea how to say my house number (my five year old could have totally helped in this situation), I decided to the give the guards a shot anyway. After they answer I said, in a rather shrieking tone, "house number, village, SNAKE!". He responds "snake? Where?". Umm, didn't we cover that??? Apparently my house number said in Thai was vitally important. After a few more attempts, he handed the phone off to someone else who could understand me since the word "snake" seemed to be very alarming and needed to be dealt with.
I kid you not, less then two minutes after we hung up they were racing down my street and in front of my house. I didn't even have time to really register and process what was going as because before I knew what was happening I saw my maid fly out the house like she was running for Olympic gold and then she and the guards appeared outside the kitchen window. Khun T was pointing in the direction of the snake, and the guard with the big whacking stick took off after it. Apparently snakes are the one critter that even Thai admit need to be killed. It seems that if you are unlucky enough to be reincarnated as snake, you better watch out!
So, after the offending reptile was located, he received a pummeling that ended his life in spectacular fashion. Satisfied with his kill, the guard bent down and picked up the snake showing his true size. When the guy was holding him he had one arm angled above his head the body of the snake reached the ground. After they carted off the body, my maid joined me in the house, informed me that he was in fact poisonous and it was good that we called, and then our day went on as if nothing unusual had happened. Such is my life in Thailand. Even when snakes appear on the tree, nothing, and I do mean nothing, is unusual about that!
Until next time!
Kristen
So the story. A few weeks ago I was standing in the kitchen with the maid when all of a sudden she gets very quite. Now, if you know anything about my maid (which you probably don't since I haven't told her story yet) you know that being quiet isn't her speciality. Doing showers isn't her speciality either, but I digress. So, as we are standing there, all quite and stuff, without looking away from the window she says in a rather hushed voice "madam, there snake". Umm, excuse me?? And in a hushed voice??? Where's the concern, people??? "Snake?", I say as calm as possible (all the while shrieking like a child on the inside). "Yes, there on tree", she says and points. And holy big snake, Batman!!! This things was huge. I don't mean like huge in my imagination, huge (as my hubby so often says I blow these critters up in my mind). I mean seriously huge as in at least 5.5 FEET long! Since I myself am not even 5.5 feet tall you can see why this was concerning to me. That thing could swallow me whole and not even be completely full.
And then it moved... down the tree, and was looking at us. The snake was looking at us and blowing in the wind like it was totally in its natural habitat and not in my protective bubble that I have deemed to be at least 20 feet around the perimeter of my house. As we are watching this snake slither down the tree I look over at Khun T and ask if it were the kind where you die if it were to bite. She didn't know. So, I asked if we should call the guard. She didn't know this either. Thankfully my friend G had text me the number to the guard house when we first moved in and I knew just where I had saved that text. Unfortunately, I also learned when rereading that text that I needed the basic knowledge of how to say Thai numbers so that I could tell the non-English speaking guards where to find me. At that very moment, quiting Thai lessons did NOT seem like as good of an idea as it did two months ago.
After calming myself after I realized that I had no idea how to say my house number (my five year old could have totally helped in this situation), I decided to the give the guards a shot anyway. After they answer I said, in a rather shrieking tone, "house number, village, SNAKE!". He responds "snake? Where?". Umm, didn't we cover that??? Apparently my house number said in Thai was vitally important. After a few more attempts, he handed the phone off to someone else who could understand me since the word "snake" seemed to be very alarming and needed to be dealt with.
I kid you not, less then two minutes after we hung up they were racing down my street and in front of my house. I didn't even have time to really register and process what was going as because before I knew what was happening I saw my maid fly out the house like she was running for Olympic gold and then she and the guards appeared outside the kitchen window. Khun T was pointing in the direction of the snake, and the guard with the big whacking stick took off after it. Apparently snakes are the one critter that even Thai admit need to be killed. It seems that if you are unlucky enough to be reincarnated as snake, you better watch out!
So, after the offending reptile was located, he received a pummeling that ended his life in spectacular fashion. Satisfied with his kill, the guard bent down and picked up the snake showing his true size. When the guy was holding him he had one arm angled above his head the body of the snake reached the ground. After they carted off the body, my maid joined me in the house, informed me that he was in fact poisonous and it was good that we called, and then our day went on as if nothing unusual had happened. Such is my life in Thailand. Even when snakes appear on the tree, nothing, and I do mean nothing, is unusual about that!
Until next time!
Kristen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)