I am quite certain that when the hubby and I are repatriated that they will strongly suggest that we both check into some sort of clinic for the mentally insane. You see, when they repatriate someone they give you this survey that you have to fill out, or at least I think they do, and I can tell you right now that ours will be filled with all sort of crazy, crazy, stuff. Really and truly I am beginning to question our mental health. Let me explain...
If you have been following this blog you have read all about my gecko phobia and how they have tried to kill me on more then one occasion and you may also recall Remy the Rat. Well my friends, they are both back. Or at least their kin are now here. I really and truly thought that by allowing Remy to live that we would come into some of that good Thai karma that I have been hearing all about, but it seems that by killing a gecko (multiple geckos actually) that I totally screw up the karma thing. And we now seem to be paying for it in a big way!
A few days ago I bought some bananas. Some fantastic mini Thai bananas! Boy were they delicious. Apparently Emile, Remy's older, fatter brother, decided that he too liked my yummy Thai bananas because when I walked into the kitchen for breakfast there was a half eaten one on my counter. Now, if you know my kids you know that my middle leaves food in various places and in various states of half eateness (i know that isn't a word, but I claim mental!), and in all likelihood, it could have been him. However, my counters are really high and my son doesn't gnaw at food, nor does he eat the peelings of bananas. Oh, he also poops a lot bigger (yeah, rat poop on my counter!). So, of course I freak. I mean seriously, I freaked when there was a tiny little bug in my flour so as you can imagine this incident was very traumatic for me. Between the crying, screaming, and asking God to forgive me for my sins and to stop all of these terrible injustices from happening again, I finally managed to call my hubby and demand (as nicely as possible) that he call the landlord and tell her of this "incident".
Before I continue, I should probably tell you a little about how the Thai people operate. They don't! Or at least that seems to be true in a lot of cases. They have this live and let live attitude that pretty much prevents anything meaningful from happening. They just let things go.
Okay, now that we have that established, the landlord sent over the handy man (who totally speaks good English but pretends not to!). I tell him what is going on and he takes a look and decided that he would need to come back and seal up the pass through from the maids quarters into the house. Okay, great! Action! His other solution was to put a freaking trap ON MY COUNTER! Not really a trap so much as a darn cage. Umm, no. Not EVEN going to happen my friend. We compromised by him putting it on the counter in the maids quarters. Some good that did since he didn't even bait the darn thing. Seriously, did he think the rat was just going to take a stroll into the cage for the heck of it???
That night things got really bad. And by really bad, I mean I walk into the boy's room and find rat poo on the big kids bed. And on the side of the bed. And on his sheets. Seriously, my skin is crawling just thinking about it. Thankfully the hubby was home this time and witnessed first hand my reaction (see previous paragraph!) and knew that it was time for him to take action. You see, when handy man came over I informed him that there was an opening somewhere outside that was allowing them to come into the house. I told him to walk the perimeter and find said hole, and close said hole. He said okay and that he would be back in 50 minutes. He never came. In fact, it took several heated phone calls just to get him to come to the house to finally seal up the pass through. Live and let live!
So, the hubby asks me if I know how to work the bait less trap that was left behind by the brainless handy man. Umm no. No I don't. And no I don't want to know, thankyouverymuch! Thankfully our driver was still hanging around and helped the hubby bait the trap with chicken nuggets, and then informed us that we would need to hole up in our bedroom (the only room not touched by Emile) by putting a towel across our door. Great! Fantastic! So much fun! Anyway, I didn't sleep very well that night, to say the least. The next morning however, I did get some relief when the hubby came in and announced that Emile was gone and any evidence of him was gone as well. Boy was he ever wrong.
As I am sitting in the living room, crocheting a Christmas Tree skirt and drinking my coffee, my babe decided to go sit by our back window. She likes playing there and does so, often. So, I walk over to open the curtains for her and get a huge, very unwelcome, surprise. They were droppings everywhere. I mean at least 20-30, plus more right outside the window. Infestation is probably putting it mild. I do believe that WE are living in THEIR place and not the other way around. So, again, I call the hubby and let him know what is going on and that I was packing our bags because we were about to be calling the Hilton our home. Thankfully, at least this time, there was a mix up with our temp driver and he never left the office where hubby works to come and get me. Since I had grocery shopping to do, the hubby volunteered to come home early and watch the kids and clean up the rat poop.
After the cleaning we decided to stick it out. At least for the time being. We set more traps and have yet to see any more even though we have seen their poop. We did however see more geckos. The hubby almost died of a heart attack as did I, in the same, so it wasn't a good day. In fact, as I was sweeping, one of those suckers decided to run across my foot and he died a very violent death. As I am whacking him with my hot pink broom and screaming "I told you not to mess with me! WHAT! You want some more! Tell your friends you .....!", the hubby quietly calls from the other room "Hon, you okay in there? Did you find the gecko?" That man knows me too well!
As for our mental well being, well, that seems to be slipping hour by hour (see paragraph about the gecko). That night as we were laying in bed talking about our day, the subject of him catching Emile comes up. Since we aren't Buddhist and since we do in fact believe in killing the rats, we start talking about the various ways for a rat in a trap to die. He was trying to think of ways to get the rat out of the trap so that he could run him over in the golf cart. I simply informed him that a better way, a way not to use the mom mobile, would be to stick the whole trap in a bucket of water and drown the sucker. There were various others ways of rat death that were discussed, but after typing just that out I do believe that we are now one Fruit Loop short of a box. Find a happy place, find a HAPPY PLACE!!!
Well, I guess I had better get going. Until next time, I hope all is well!
Kristen
No comments:
Post a Comment