Monday, June 24, 2013

Be afraid, be very afraid...

Of the crazy white woman living in 3C. I am certain, absolutely certain, that the poor flower lady was thinking just that on Monday when she dropped by for her weekly sale. If you have been following this blog since the beginning then you remember all about "Remy" the interloper and about how despite his unwelcome appearance in my life and that of the world in fact, no Thai person would kill him. I tried getting him offed to no avail. Even though I couldn't do anything about Remy, I could, and can, do something about the many geckos that live in our house.

The Monday started out like any. My kids were up way too early after a long night and I still hadn't managed to put on my coffee or a bra when the doorbell rings. Flower lady was running early, just like everything else it seemed. So, after I grab my wallet I walk to the door and open it to find a big gecko staring at me from the INSIDE of the screen door. Now, my thinking is that the screen door should screen unwanted pest from getting into my house. Apparently, that isn't how it works here... Anyway, after screaming like a crazy person while simultaneously trying to relay my flower order, the gecko found a way to get into my living room. Since the flower lady didn't have the flowers that I wanted she had to go back to her truck, and while she did that, I took the opportunity to exact my revenge on the gecko.

After slamming the door (really, I slammed that sucker so loud my doorbell rang), I took off for the shoe closet and grabbed my tennis shoe. It was a big gecko and a little slow, so I didn't have much of a chase. By this time however, the little sucker managed to cram himself right in front of the front door. I swear, I really do need to film me killing a gecko one day because apparently I go a bit savage. I start screaming and jumping around, and when I'm done I swear my heart is beating so fast you would swear I had just run a marathon. Seriously, these things scare the living daylights out of me! Anyway, apparently, unbeknownst to me, the flower lady had returned and was waiting on me outside while all this commotion was going on. She may have also seen me through the side panel window, but I cannot verify that, nor do I want to.

So, after he had been dealt with I didn't really have time to clean up my mess so I just opened the door. And yep, there she stood, wide mouthed, slacked arms, and just this look of utter confusion and fright on her face. I'm beginning to think that opening the door with a dead gecko at my feet, while holding my pink tennis shoe, and wearing the smile of a crazy girl, was NOT a good idea!!

After she tentatively took my money, she ran, (yes ran), back to her truck. I was sure that I would never see her again. But alas, money is a big motivator and I'm a good client, so she was back the next week. I did notice that she stood slightly farther away from me though ;-)

Until next time,
Kristen

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