This is one part of Thai living that I am not sure that I will ever be comfortable with. The help. Apparently at the level the hubby is working at and with the neighborhood we will be living in, it is seen as sort of a slap in the face not to have help. By "help" I mean a maid and nannies for each kid in some cases. The driver I will get used to, as there is no way I am getting behind the wheel of that van! The maid and the nanny thing? Yeah.. not so sure about those two.
I'm not really sure what is turning me off from having a maid. Everyone has one. Some even have a live-in maid (so not doing that even though our house has a "maids quarters"!!!) who cooks for them and irons their underwear. Sure it would be nice to have someone to come in a do some light cleaning once a week, but really I can do that myself for a whole lot cheaper. Plus, and this seems really odd coming from me, I just don't like the idea of being someones boss and having to tell them what to do. What if I don't like the way they do something and would rather it done a different way? I would have to "boss" them (in a nice way of course) and redirect them. I just don't like it. Alas, the hubby insists that we have a maid since it is expected and since everyone has one, so I guess we will. And no, don't worry. I wont start jumping off bridges just because everyone else does it, but apparently this is non negotiable.
Now, on to the nannies. No. No. N-O! That is one thing I will no budge on. I want to raise my babies. I went through a lot of trouble getting them into this world so I want to have the ups and downs with them. They need me, or at least I think they do, and I have been blessed with a hubby who have given me the freedom to be able to stay at home with them. So, no nannies. It was so funny though when I told the guide that we didn't have a nanny back home. She asked "how did you do it with three all on your own? My sister has just one child and she uses her nanny, her maid, and my maid and she still seems so tired all the time!". Well, for one they are too expensive back home and I would have to work just to afford care, and two, I had help. I had the hubby. He is a fantastic father and loves being with the kids. Seriously, ask the man why he hasn't played golf in a few years. He would tell you it was for two reasons. He doesn't have anyone to play with and he feels guilty for taking time to himself when he could be with the kids. The man is a Saint! Really, I should nominate him. Anyway, after I explained the cost thing I simply told her that it was amazing what a person was capable of when they had no alternatives. She agreed. Sort of. Her words were "well, I guess mothers care is probably the best". Yet another culture difference. Back home, if a mother can and is willing ( being willing is the key), her care is seen as the best in most cases. Here it is the norm for extended family or nannies to raise the children and for the mother to work.
Well, I think I just about covered our experiences with the "help" so I guess I had better get going. Once we do hire a maid I will be sure to let you all know how that goes. In the mean time, I hope all is well!
Kristen
It's the best if you find mooned you like. I broke all the "rules" by paying ours twice the normal rate, became quite good friends, and was told I was " spoiling" her! Give me a brek! She helped me so much and was great with the kids. I love Tuk and miss her so much. It all comes back to the golden rule I think and sounds like you'll be the same way. I knew several people who did not have a maid though - don't feel pressure to if you don't want. I never thought it was any sort of company thing to do - just made my life o much easier and enjoyable!
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