Death by Gecko!

Yep, that's right! A gecko will kill me. I just know it! Before we moved here I was convinced that it would be a fatal snake bite that would do me in, but no. A gecko! Now why a snake you may be asking yourself.  Well, I'll tell ya. When we got the brochure in about the hospital ( everyone goes to the hospital not a doctors office) it was advertised as having a "World class snake bite facility". Now, why advertise as such if there was no need??? See, in my warped mind there was obviously a need for this advertisement, so I took it to heart that I was going to be bitten by a snake a leave my hubby wifeless and my children with no mother. I even told my friend J how I wanted my final resting place to look and to make sure that my hubby didn't cremate me, but to stick me in a wall somewhere (I'm scared of catching on fire and yes it matters even if I'm dead!). Once we actually got to Thailand I even asked our guides about the whole snake thing and they assured me that I was overreacting (whatever, I was totally prepared for my snake bite and after, thank you very much!), but I decided to let it drop. Somewhat. I'm still on the look out for killer snakes.

Now as for the gecko, those things are the real killers. You see, my hubby has assured that I am also overreacting in that respect and that they don't bite and even if they did they aren't poisonous. Okay, now the not biting I don't believe for second.  I swear they would eat me alive if one got close enough. And as for the poison, ehh, I'm sure I would have heard of poisonous geckos if they did exist, which I have not, so that i believe. However, I'm not so much worried about them biting me as I am of them giving me a heart attack. In fact they have almost succeeded on several occasions since we have been here. I swear they are gearing up for something big. Call me crazy, but those things scare the crap of me! What makes it even worse is that Mrs. UK has informed me that ones that I have been seeing are babies. Babies! Really?? Those things look huge to me! She actually laughed at me and said "nah, those are little. The one at my house that lives by my front door is this big (I swear she held her hands at least eighteen inches apart!)".

I can't believe that I am actually about to tell this story but it may give you some insight as to why they scare the bejesus out me. Okay, here goes. It was a hot and humid day in sunny Georgia. My hubby way out to sea and I was home alone. I had to "use the facilities" ( sounds more classy then I had to pee), and since I had just worked out I stripped down naked and went about my business before hopping in the shower. As I sat down I picked up the latest copy of Us Weekly, plopped in on my naked lap while sitting on the toilet, and what happens when I open that damn magazine?? A lizard, a slimy green lizard, jumps on my naked lap! I screamed so loud I still can't believe that no one rushed over to my house to check on me. Needless to say, once I got my feet back under me that lizard died an ugly death at the hands of a rolled up US Weekly!

And my hubby, my cute, dead sexy hubby, lol! The other night we sneaked into the kitchen after the babes went to bed to feast on sweet treats. I had just gotten out of the shower so I was just wearing a towel (wow, I see a theme now. Being naked equals a sure fire way of being attacked!) and low and behold, as I reach for the cinnamon rolls a damn gecko launches his attack! I half drop my towel and start screeching, not full fledged screaming like last time, as to not wake up the babes. The hubby comes in a starts laughing at me and says in the sweetest voice " you aren't really afraid of a little Geico, are you?" Yep, he called them the insurance company, lol! Anyway, like the good man he is, he tried chasing the darn thing and even though he didn't succeed, it was still very sweet of him to fight dragons for me! Gosh, I just love him!!!

So, yes. I do foresee them killing me by way of inducing a heart attack. I just hope that when it finally happens that I'm not in some embarrassing position like being naked on the toilet again. And since I am sure you are totally laughing at me now, I do need to go get the big kid from school. Until next, I hope all is well!
Kristen